I just went to the toilet!

The toilet and bathroom used to be associated with quick business, feminine hygiene, long queues and the rare sexual encounter. That was BC (before children). It now has so many more references.
I went to fetch my oldest from school one day and his teacher looked tired. She said that today was one of those that she needs to lock herself in the bathroom for 10 minutes before she can deal with her own kids. This got me thinking about the time spent in the toilet lately as opposed to previously never thinking about that room much.
Firstly it is rare that it is private, for the most part I have an audience starting with the loyal staffies that dislike closed doors in any form, then the oldest in the words of Isabella " what you doing?" This followed by a discussion on plan of action for the rest of the day. Never to be left out toddles in the little one that is immediately excited as this is a very exciting room. He usually starts the assault by flushing the chain, turning it into a more Eastern experience than you prefer, then he turns to the roll of toilet paper, leading with " wipe mommy" and sticks his hands between your legs in the most helpful manner. This generally leads to a "Get Out", the oldest sulks off as he feels he was in his rights to be there, the youngest leaves but grabs toilet roll on his way out and you helplessly watch it unravel at an alarming pace; at least the dogs make a quit exit as they have now learnt that they can catch the brunt of a mommy tantrum.
The toilet can also be a place of much excitement. It is a difficult balance that must be achieved between not letting a toddler wreck the room, drown or otherwise injure oneself; and making it a place that he feels confident to use during that exciting potty training time. The first wee in the potty or the toilet creates load squealing noises and unequalled praise. There is often a potty dance and treat to mark this momentous occasion. The enticing of the pooh is also very exciting, hours are spent sitting on the floor next to the toilet using words of encouragement, reading books, singing or any such tactics.
My more recent thoughts about the toilet are somewhat different. My boys have discovered that there are times in the day that mommy needs to go to the toilet and leave them unattended or more unsupervised for minutes at a time. I am yet to discover if their exploits are spontaneous or pre-meditated. They will be sitting eating breakfast watching Phineas and Ferb quietly, I mistakenly think here is my chance, I dash out the room to the toilet. I come back moments later to empty seats, discarded breakfasts and a sinking feeling in my stomach. I then follow the trail of destruction, the dog food poured into the water bowl, the arts and crafts draws open and blobs of glue still wet but drying all over, the action figure box strewn across the room as a search for the hero of the day started and find the boys in a power struggle over 1 item that both feel is needed to be played with at that precise moment. The only thought I have is that I just went to the toilet ...