Using your toddler to punish inefficient retailers

Shopping with a 19 month old boy is never dull, especially on the days when you decide today you not going to give up and give him a big packet of chips to sit quietly in the trolley. 
After 3 minutes of shopping bliss he climbs out! Best way to control is enlist their help, pass him each item to put in the trolley. This works for a while until the idea of running free down the isle is too much.  I let him go while I finish the row, then the wave of anxiety as all is quiet and I suffer extreme fear of my children being stolen. He is gone! No he has climbed under the shelf to retrieve an apple that went missing weeks ago.  Pulse under control, I put him back in the trolley and resume shopping, passing the coldrink row because I am still resisting the junk. He lulls you into a false sense of security and I move from essentials to items needed. I reach for an item high on the shelf, turn and he is gone again. Abandon trolley and run the rows calling him. He is in the meat fridge poking holes in all the vacume packs. Assess the damage, put goods that too damaged to leave without a guilt into the trolley, and head for the till. Let him help the packers, it is the highlight of the outing. I hand over my credit card and after 3 swipes the till lady informs me that they are off line. Grrrr! The management say that the signal at the tills is not very good, lets try hand held near the door. This too failing it is decided that best to phone bank for authorisation. So off we trot to the office, where I now have to give life history over the phone. So I decide to let him free, I can see him so their is no danger of abduction, and I just watch. He starts at the fruit, bringing me bananas one at a time. He then moves onto the packed fruit, stacking them into a castle. Feta is on special so he feels it should be more prominently displayed in the middle of the floor. A staff member is then put on toddler watch. As she follows him I think maybe I should be the better mother and stop the carnage, then I look at my watch and see how much time it has taken and turn a blind eye. Payment sorted, lady walks him back to me, and for a child with limited vocabulary he has convinced her to open him a pink milk, banana and the elusive packet of chips! I smile and push my trolley to the car.