A cupcake ate the carwash man

Driving with little ones can be bitter sweet. You can think of it as being confined to small area with singing, screaming, non stop talking and straining neck and back to retrieve the items lobbed at your head from the back; on the other hand it can be the only 15 min in the day that the kids are strapped in and they cant go anywhere, so you can relax and listen to radio with kids as white noise in back. Leaving the house is usually the hardest part, even if it is for a 5min drive down the road. bags are packed and all necessary items are in the car. Start by finding dogs to put them outside to avoid them running out garage and spending 15 min getting them back. Now time to find the kids who have now started a new game and reluctant for the outing. Next best thing is to offer that they continue the game in the car, so help them lug all the necessary items into the car. So have 4 year happy and in the car, strapped in and ready. The 1 year old has now been distracted by fun stuff in garage and sees you coming to take him away and strap him in. He runs, hides and basically perfects the goose step to avoid all attempts. STOP, just turned this into a game. New approach. BYE we going and you will have to stay with the dogs by yourself. Separation anxiety has its pro's and as much as you hate exploiting your kids weakness, there comes a time that necesssary. Ok 2 kids strapped in and ready to go. 1 year old is now parched due to avoidance game. Forgot juice, so back in house, make 2 non spill juice cups as not coming back. Ready, lets go. 4 year old now finds his packed lunch for outing and starts to tuck in. Very kindly shares his treasures with his brother who is not so good at confining crumbs. Start the car. Sighhh, a little time, listen to news, a song that does not have actions no no the nagging from back starts so not worth it, I put in their cd and just resort to enjoying my thoughts rather than the radio. Mmmmm too quiet in back followed by joyful giggles and ... Mom he spilled! Yes 1 year old has taken lid off the childproof spill free cup and is pouring it all over. No no no, too late. His comment "pour" "gone". So, lets focus on head, shoulders knees and toes safer than all else. Destination reached, errand done, back in car. Getting back into car often easier than going first time so lets just get home before hunger starts to cause melt downs. Trip home has own challenges, you have to keep toddler awake without bribing food that will spoil dinner and drink is slowly glueing itself to upholstery. Trip spent pointing out Diggers, trucks, cement mixer, MOTORBIKE! You look back to ensure eyelids remain open and he is eating a cupcake. Where on earth did that come from? Yes party on weekend had those cupcakes, it clearly was not eaten on way home and missed by the dogs scrap hunting welcome party. 4 year old is torn between that is groce and " I want a cupcake". It is the time in the day when you weigh up the tantrum of removing it vs. turn a blind eye and pretend never saw it! Yip, you decide that take car to carwash in morning before it gets condemned and will give child extra probiotic and all will be good! What makes life worth living is the look on face of the carwash man when he opens the door! Starts with price, Polo is small car so R35 for wash and vacuum and decide to pay R10 for dash polish. They wash the outside and then you pull into vacuum bay and as open back doors, PRICELESS! Key is never return to same carwash twice in a row. Happy driving!

Up up up DOWN

Before the boys came I would watch Jackass and like and wonder why! Now I have discovered the answer, they are boys. The worst moment in your baby life is when hear the apnea mat alarm, you are in the room at vampire speed. I found my youngest at 9 months hanging off side of cot having climbed over and out. Determined to keep at least 1 of my kids in the expensive cot, I put him in a sleeping bag and made my husband drill new holes to lower cot a extra cm. just made the game more of a challenge. Giving up packed up the cot and put him on a matress on floor. In morning I hear screeching, go into the room and he is not in the bed! A satisfied laugh makes me look UP, yes he has climbed up the burglar bars to the top of the window and now of course is stuck. This trend continues and gets worse. Not just 1 but 2. Cooking supper, baby sleeping oldest in park with friends. Monitoring him by the sound of scooters up and down the road. Then I hear lets go slide, I stick my head out and see them playing on fireman pole and slide, acceptable. Minutes later it is too quiet so I peak out again, these boys are at the top of slide with scooters discussing the logistics of going DOWN the slide riding them. NO NO NO! The problem with younger siblings is they underestimate their abilities vs the older. My now 18 month old climber feels he has mastered the jungle gym all except fireman pole, easy, hold step slide. I help him a few times and all good, but mom helping is not cool. Saying cheers to my oldest at school, little monster before I can get to him, drops at terminal velocity to bottom of the pole. He stands up, dusts himself off, looks at me with half tears, half smile. As there is no permanent injury I am chuffed that he has learnt a lesson. Carry on with my parent teacher chat and I look up and AGAIN. I promptly leave before child welfare is called. Sitting at a 7 year old party on the Saturday chatting about how my boys may not live to 7 birthday while watching kids slide down the giant slip n slide into the pool. A bit later I look up and yes, all the dads are on the slide, but they have body boards to stand on sure that this will be fun, no the kids scooter now that will be better! Luckily in mid 30's men have beer bubbles to help avoid injury. It became clear that my boys would probably make old bones even if it is with a couple of pins!

Sunny Puddle Days

On most days I consider myself a reasonably good mother. There is one area that I fall very short of the expected bar, that is when the opportunity arises for my boys to have fun. Yesterday was a typical example. Evening routine was going as usual. Supper happend a little earlier than usual because there are days when boys just can't wait. Cooking spaghetti bolognaise while your 4 year old is playing soccer in the kitchen and your 1 year old has discovered the joy of the microwave, you push a button and light comes on, plate turns and every 10 seconds makes this beeping sound, is something only a mom could cope with. Despite every talk from dietician and books on healthy eating, I turn on the TV to ensure that food goes down before next game pops into their heads. Now my biggest challenge of the day is getting boys to bath. I bribe them with the idea of putting pots and pans and some kitchen utensils in the bath to ensure that bubble bath cappuccinos and soapy soup is properly prepared. Pyjamas on and planning our last game before Dad gets home and we start to quieten down, when we hear a noise that sends excitement into the room. After a hot hot day the Highveld often rewards us with a storm. With an eager look my 4 year old says please can we have an umbrella. We play on patio during the heavy storm and as soon as it lightens up, I just cant resist their pleading faces and the pure joy I will see if I let them go. A real mother would say no, you have bathed and in PJ's and it is hour before bed so NO! Instead I grab their wellinton boots, an umbrella and we head for the garage for other goods that will make this fun. Out we go, 4 year dressed in policeman hat, Spiderman PJs, blue wellinton boots and on his scooter. 1 year old wearing red wellington boots, Winnie the Pooh PJs and a fireman hat. For the next 45 min we splash, stomp, wet each other, skid through large puddles and fall lots. Dad arrives home to the 3 of us looking rather soaked but with red cheeks and smiling faces. The part makes me judge myself is the looks and comments from the people that live in our complex, in their cars rushing to get inside. Most felt that my children would need to be hospitalised soon due to fact that rain contains bacteria and viruses that should be avoided at all costs. Just as I am about to call timeout on the fun and succumb to the pressure, the most beautiful rainbow appears in the sky, it occurs to me that out of all 45 houses, my kids were the only ones that got to experience that today! Towelled off, dry PJs, big smiles we all went to bed happy that night! Reflecting on my decisions of the day, I always think about what I will wish I had done in when my boys are grown and with their wives, and that is when I am sure that I made the best choice.

Using your toddler to punish inefficient retailers

Shopping with a 19 month old boy is never dull, especially on the days when you decide today you not going to give up and give him a big packet of chips to sit quietly in the trolley. 
After 3 minutes of shopping bliss he climbs out! Best way to control is enlist their help, pass him each item to put in the trolley. This works for a while until the idea of running free down the isle is too much.  I let him go while I finish the row, then the wave of anxiety as all is quiet and I suffer extreme fear of my children being stolen. He is gone! No he has climbed under the shelf to retrieve an apple that went missing weeks ago.  Pulse under control, I put him back in the trolley and resume shopping, passing the coldrink row because I am still resisting the junk. He lulls you into a false sense of security and I move from essentials to items needed. I reach for an item high on the shelf, turn and he is gone again. Abandon trolley and run the rows calling him. He is in the meat fridge poking holes in all the vacume packs. Assess the damage, put goods that too damaged to leave without a guilt into the trolley, and head for the till. Let him help the packers, it is the highlight of the outing. I hand over my credit card and after 3 swipes the till lady informs me that they are off line. Grrrr! The management say that the signal at the tills is not very good, lets try hand held near the door. This too failing it is decided that best to phone bank for authorisation. So off we trot to the office, where I now have to give life history over the phone. So I decide to let him free, I can see him so their is no danger of abduction, and I just watch. He starts at the fruit, bringing me bananas one at a time. He then moves onto the packed fruit, stacking them into a castle. Feta is on special so he feels it should be more prominently displayed in the middle of the floor. A staff member is then put on toddler watch. As she follows him I think maybe I should be the better mother and stop the carnage, then I look at my watch and see how much time it has taken and turn a blind eye. Payment sorted, lady walks him back to me, and for a child with limited vocabulary he has convinced her to open him a pink milk, banana and the elusive packet of chips! I smile and push my trolley to the car.

Tigger's Time

"Crying over a stuffed animal, how silly"
Tigger has been part of our family for 4 1/2 years now. He has attended every event, every bedtime, wiped many tears, been saved from dogs teeth, used as a teether and just brought joy. The stress of never losing him has had its moments as no replacement has ever made the cut.
Lying in bed my son tells me that he does not need Tigger anymore and we should give him away! My shock was noticeable. I enquired the reasons and it was just that he does not need him anymore. In desparation to prevent this happening I suggested that we dont give him away but find a special place for him that he can always watch over us! My son says no it will be better to give him to someone that needs him. He then looks at him gives him a kiss And says: " I will miss you, I love you". The tears are rolling down his cheeks and I am crying. I have not been brave enough to yet part with him. Tigger leaving marks end of my son being a "baby" and despite him being ready I am not. Despite this being a positive and mature step, I would like to hold on just a little longer.